Hear the flutter of Wings

Should-da Know-ed

Thoughts and Ideas....I'll throw a fishin' line out into the "Gray Goo-eee Matter" located somewhere in that "Bone-eee Brain House" that sits on the end of the "Broom Stick" that someone shoved up my backside on a whim so, I can try to drag one of those "fish-eee thing-eees' back out. After that I gets to toss it into this chere fryin' pan. That is, of course, if I don't swipe a "fish-eee thing-eee" out of someone-elses "fish-eee bucket" to which I'll give full credit to the someone-else that I swiped his/her "fish-eee thing-eee" out of thier "fish-eee bucket" and then toss it into this chere fryin' pan.

Language and Spellin'....I'll try to keep most of the "Gutter Talk" from gettin' into each post. Yaw'll notice that I did say "TRY". As for the other, IF I can find it in Webster's...IF NOT, get Yaw'll's "cryin' towel" ready cause Yaw'll might need it.

Laughter...Doin' my best to discover how to put it into words which is a lot harder than I thought it would be but, somewhere along the line I sure am a-hopin' that I succeed in puttin' a smile onto Yaw'll's faces.

Politics....Now that Can and Does get very opinionated and quite Heated around these parts. So, the "Gutter Talk" may rear its ugly head more than once. If, Yaw'll don't want to see it at those times then cover Yaw'll's eyes cause I don't provide "Eye Wash". Times are tuff--don't Yaw'll know.

Religion....I've got mine .. so my opinion is mine. Yaw'll got yours .. so Yaw'll's opinion is Yaw'lls. I may give my opinion. Yaw'll may comment back according to Yaw'll's opinion. BUT, we won't be a-chingin' each other's opinion, now will we.

So Yaw'll come on in, sit it down and puts Yaw'll's feet up and see if Yaw'll might find somthin' that'll catch Yaw'll's intrest for awhile. Yaw'll be sure to leave me a comment so I'll know how my "fish-eee thing-eees" are a-cookin' in this chere fryin' pan.

I hears ya, .. I HEARS YA. Damn, my bird sa squawkin', and I needs my cup of Hot Tea with it "little ole splash" of Bourbon to help take the chill off.

So .. Yaw'll come on back and see what I pulled out of my "fish-eee bucket" .... Yaw'll hear.

Miss Em
aka .. Me.


Friday, February 05, 2010

On Going WAR with the "Gray Furry-butt Tree-rats"

When I bought my small condo 6 years ago I  knew that I would continue to feed the humming birds.  I also wanted to branch out and see if I could entice some of the other birds in the area to come to my brand new feeders.  So, in the spring of year 1 I put out shepard hooks and tree hangers with attached full feeders.  I even put out what is called a flat feeder and a couple of suet holders with special home made suet.  I succeeded better than I thought I could by even getting 3 different types of woodpeckers and a few Indigo Buntings [a very pretty many colored bird] to not only fill those bellies but to take a bath in the brand new big blue bowl  fountain...AND....THEN....THEY....ARRIVED.

I could not believe my eyes.  Not just one but a whole gang of them.  They began by scaring all of the hard won feather beauties away from the feeders.   Then once they accomplished that they fought among themselves to see who was the head of the 'Gray Furry-butt Tree-rat' gang because as we all know the "King of the Hill" always eats first.  The first year the 'Tree-rat' gang wasn't that bad 6 to 8 members but by the end of the summer of year 2 the 'Tree-rat' gang membership had grown to around 25 on a slow day.

During the spring/summer of year 2 not only did the 'Tree-rat' gang eat all of the expensive seed I would put out in the feeders but they tore apart several  of those very nice feeders to the point that the seed was now all over the ground.  It was at that time that I knew that I would have to do something  to get rid of the 'Gray Furry-butt Tree-rats'.  So, off to the lap top and the 'Google' box I went to learn how to keep the 'Tree-rats' away from the bird feeders. 
Don't yaw'll believe everything they tell yaw'll on this subject because they haven't ment the Georgia 'Gray Furry-butt Tree-rat' which is nothing like anything known by the 'egg-heads'.

A couple of days later I was at the big orange box [aka..Home Depot] where I got a few more bird feeders that stated that they were 'Tree-rat' proof [JOKE], another bag or two of seed and something to put whole ear corn and peanuts in to get the 'Tree-rats'  as far from the new bird feeders as possible.  Well, during this process I learned that these 'Tree-rats' have no idea what to do with corn but they would have huge gang fight over the peanuts.
H/D made quite a good bit of money off of me during the next 4 years as I was waging 'war' on those 'Tree-rats'.

It was in 2009 that the 'Tree-rats' destroyed 3 humming bird feeders and 4 brand new feeders that would hold seeds.  That's when I made a vow....the 'Tree-rats' had to GO. 

So, in a couple of months when it's time to put out the NEW humming bird feeders I will be waiting for them with a paint-ball gun and a huge smile on my face with the thought...

 "Take that you nasty little F.... ker".

So, when yaw'll see your local 'Tree-rat', you will know that I will be doing my best to make the 'Tree-rats' in my area a bright florescent Orange so the owls and hawks can find their fat 'Gray Furry-butts' a lot easier as they run through the tree branches to get out of the hit zone.  
Well,  I will still be feeding the birds.    Won't I?

Miss Em


Paxford said...

Laughs! - we have possums down here that sound very similiar to your "tree-rat" issue (I'm guessing squirrels??).


Miss Em said...

Pax --
You guessed right. Glad you found it funny.

LL said...

You have to get brutal. haha

Justthisguy said...

Hi Ma'am! I came here from your comment at Marko's place. If you read down a bit there, you'll see I'm familiar with the fat arrogant acorn-and-birdseed-fed Georgia tree rat. I think it was actually worse inside 285, because of the abundance of oak trees and silly yuppies. Those critters even got on the nerves of the vegan lesbian pacifists in the Little Five Points district. I swear I saw Ms. Summer Fall Feather Dawn out on her lawn with a pellet rifle shooting at the critters who were chewing holes in her house, and cussing a blue streak while reloading.

Justthisguy said...

"Summer Fall Feather Dawn" --obviously not anybody's real name, but close enough to the names adopted by some gals I met when i lived around there.

Anonymous said...

Freeze the paint balls first - probably won't mark the tree rats, but will be very painful. I use a pellet rifle myself. Cheers!

Miss Em said...

Anonymous--Thanks for the tip. Neighbors windows too close for a pellet rifle.

Justthisguy said...

Pellet rifles are more accurate than firearms at appropriate short ranges. I recall when I borrowed my neighbor's nice German pellet rifle to try to get some annoying grackles (what we have in southern FL instead of squirrels). I don't shoot much, but was able consistently to hit the middle of the edge of a 1-by shelf (3/4" wide) at thirty feet or so.

The thing about the damn' grackles, was they were annoyingly smart. While I was barrel-break pumping the thing and loading it, they were all around, within 10', cussing at me. As soon as I brought the thing to my shoulder, they all flew away. Rinse, repeat. I eventually gave up.

I was handicapped by having to do this out of sight of the neighbors, and being careful of proper backstop, etc.